After their first two years of marriage or relationship, couples must do more to maintain their initial level of intimacy and excitement, says psychotherapist and author M Gary Neuman.

He based that statement based on findings of a research experiment that involved 400 women who were considered happy or unhappy. The purpose of the experiment was to discover the number of times a couple must be intimate every month to be considered happy, reports Business Insider.

Neuman said the findings of the study show that it is not about satisfaction that made the women happy but frequency of sex. The unhappy woman had it for only three to four times a month, while the happy woman had it 11 times a month.

He explains the lesser frequency of sex to couples talking about problems of daily life such as mortgages, the kids getting sick and even lack of sleep.

He said couples dating think of interesting things to talk about when on a date, but when they marry, all of a sudden they start talking about these obligations which does not produce an atmosphere conducive to love-making.

Neuman is also a marriage counselor and author of the book “Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship.”

He said that emotional betrayal through a virtual affair could be even more damaging to a marriage than a physical affair.

Neuman explains that it would be easier to counsel a couple wherein the man or the woman had random sex with a stranger than if one of them have found a best friend on the Internet even if they had not touched

He points out, “That connection is a much greater rejection to the spouse, and it’s a much harder thing to heal in a relationship because the emotions have left the marriage and gone into the hands of someone else.”

To contact the writer, email: v.hernandez@ibtimes.com.au