What's one of the biggest mistakes that I see people make when they present a proposal to work more flexibly to their manager? They focus on "why" they want to work differently, when they should emphasize "how" they are going to get their job done.

Here's a true story that a manager shared with me that perfectly illustrates the different response you will get.

A young man walks into the manager's office. He explains that he'd like to talk about shifting his hours to come in by 11:00 am on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and leave later in the evening. This new schedule will help him train for a marathon, "because it's getting too dark to run at night." The manager confessed that his response was, "Yeah, and I'd like to ride in a hot air balloon on Wednesdays. I'm going to have to say 'No'."

Thankfully, the young man came back the next day and took a different approach. He never mentioned marathon training. Instead he focused on how he would get his work done with the new schedule, how he would communicate with customers and his team, and how he would come in if something important needed to get done. And he would be happy to review the flexible work plan in three months. The manager thought about it and responded, "Okay, let's give it a shot."

The manager telling the story said that the first time he felt like he was being asked to do an unreasonable favor. But the second time, the young man had reframed the proposal as a win-win and he felt comfortable saying "yes." Same proposal, different response.

This is even more critical when you are asking for flexibility to address a personal issue that would be very difficult to say "no" to based on the reason alone...(For more go to Forbes.com)

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