It all started with a couple of text exchanges.

Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham was first to reach out to Charlie Sheen last month, saying she loved his sense of humour and was excited to meet him if ever she got herself a guesting on his TV show Anger Management.

Later, she was taking the initiative to ask him out on a date - either a play date with their kids or a casual hook up over a cup of coffee. "Coffee is for amateurs and grandma...would love to get together!" was Sheen's reply.

Then Farrah followed through by asking him to share some drinks at a party with "pornstar ppl" around. At that point it looked like they were on their way to making that date happen. Until Sheen got awfully furious!

Apparently, the former "Two and a Half Men" star hated Farrah's guts for leaking their supposedly private text conversation. What follows next is a quote-worthy, slap-in-the-face riddance letter from the legendary Sheen. Among other things, he called her a "desperate guzzler of stagnant douche." Whew.

Here's the full text of Sheen's letter to Farrah courtesy of TMZ:

Hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche;

I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. Congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

Your daughter must be proud.

Please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. The world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-luck and zero-life.

Oh and I'm sure they'll waive the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o'clock shadow.

Bye!

CS

Now, Farrah can forget the date they talked about. She can even forget that they ever talked, period. Did she get what she bargained for? Oh well. At least she's in the news, that shouldn't be so bad. Or is it?