Video by Saudi Arabian family therapist how to beat wife properly goes viral

Battered Woman — A woman who was abused by her husband wears a veil, so as not to be identified by her family, at the Sisterhood is Global Institute office in Amman March 5, 2009, ahead of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Reuters/Ali Jarekji

Saudi Arabian family therapist Khaled Al-Saqaby posted a video on how to properly beat a wife. Right at the start of the four-minute video, he acknowledged the topic is a controversial one.

Since it was posted online, the video has gone viral with close to 300,000 views. MEMRITVVideos, which posted the clip on YouTube on April 19, disabled the comments section of the video, knowing the topic would spark fierce debate between human and women’s rights groups and Islamists.

The Daily Mail says it was recorded in February and released this week by the Middle East Media Research Institute. However, the date on the YouTube posting by MEMRITVVideos show it was posted about three weeks ago.

Al-Saqaby says marital strife between Islamic couples arise when husbands do not understand how to deal with disobedience. He notes that many husbands believe the disobedience of their wives is due to inadequate treatment of the wives’ disobedience.

In its introduction to the video, the New York Post writes that the clip, which demonstrates the proper way a husband should beat his wife, “offers a horrifying glimpse into how awful some parts of the world still are.”

The family therapist cites Allah’s teaching that the husband should remind the wife of his rights and her duties. Then he should forsake her in bed. He acknowledges that forsaking her and having sex with another woman also presents a new problem because “the point of forsaking her in bed is to discipline the wife, and not to air your dirty laundry in public.”

He clarifies that the couple should still sleep together but not have sex or sleep in a separate bed in the same room. When it comes to disciplining the wife, Al-Saqaby reminds the man “the aim is to discipline, not to vent one’s anger.” He adds the necessary Islamic conditions for beating – based on the Quran – must be met.

He should not beat her with a rod, headband or sharp object. Rather, the husband should use a sewak tooth-cleaning twig or a handkerchief since the goal is only to make the wife realise she was wrong.

Al-Saqaby attributes the wrong way husbands discipline their wives to the male’s faulty upbringing where they witness their fathers beating women and imitating the behaviour when they have their own families. But he also blamed the women for wanting “to live a life of equality” with their husbands and mistakes wives and then provoke the man by saying “Go ahead and beat me.”